. . .

I am simply numb. Please forgive any fragmentation of this post, but I am not sure how I am handling the news I was just told.

My younger brother, Scott, is dead. He collapsed at work about an hour ago. An ambulance was called. About twenty minutes later, doctors at a Tampa area hospital were unable to revive him.

I used to consider myself quite fortunate. Everyone I gave a damn about was alive and kicking, causing whatever trouble they thought they could get away with. Now, in the space of a calendar year, I have lost my grandfather, and now, one of my brothers.

I had drifted apart from Scott since we were kids growing up in Florida. I think it had been close to five years since I spoke with him. This year, however, we reconnected. I spoke with him at least once a month, heard incredibly cute stories about his children, and how his construction business was finally starting to get off the ground. Things were looking very bright for him. The biggest worry he expressed to me was that he had just turned thirty and was beginning to find gray hairs. I mailed him a box of "Just for Men" hair dye as a birthday present.

I wish I could offer his family something worthwhile. Happy thoughts and well-wishing seem utterly useless at this point.

I am not sure what I am going to do today. I have a Japanese final. I should take that.

Let me close by saying to my regular crowd that I love you guys.