Fuck. Again.
I don't get angry often. The vitriol I spew here goes a long way in holding my temper in check. The last time I got truly angry, people (myself included) ended up with broken bones. I try to maintain control over my emotions as much as possible. Those close to me recognize when I get close to angry. I become quiet and methodical. I try to make sure that the next few moments are as controlled as possible.
That is difficult right now.
I am trying very hard not to be angry. This is not an easy task right now. My hands are shaking with the effort of self-restraint I am putting in.
When I got dumped last month, the reasoning was cryptic. The clearest explanation I got was that she was in a place where having a boyfriend complicated things. She was completing her master's thesis, working full-time, and raising a kid. She said she needed to focus on herself and her kid right now, and make sure things don't fly out of control. She said a lot of things.
Turns out a lot of that was complete BULLSHIT. I just found out a few minutes ago that she's dating again. I had suspected as much, but the confirmation hurts worse than the suspicion. Apparently it wasn't having a boyfriend that was the complication. It was having me as a boyfriend that fucked things up. It makes me wonder how long this was going on. How long before or after she cast me aside did she decide to fall all over this new guy?
There's a lot more I want to say, but as I type, the impact of my fingers on the keyboard is getting harder. I should stop before I break something. I guess I haven't put things as far behind me as I had thought.
FUCK!
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It's a blog, people. It's about what I want it to be about. Warning: Spelling mistakes and grammatical errors WILL happen. Adult language will likely be used, though I will try to keep it PG-13. Enjoy.
3 comments:
Ya know, as yer friendly neiborhood bitch I could release some of your frustration on her in a way that would probably hurt her. I told you Im protective of my friends, she just fucked with the wrong group.
Hey hon. Cold comfort here, but cold is what I do well. All women are psychos. Even the good ones have psycho moments. But if you wade through enough of them, you'll eventually find one worth keeping, who thinks you're worth being kept by. So don't throw the towel in yet.
And, er, don't you and Brainweevil get caught doing anything rash. I despise visiting people in jail.
--Brainweevil's wyvern doctor
To clarify, I'm not too upset that she's seeing someone else. That shit happens. What pisses me off is two big things.
First, she said she didn't want, and couldn't handle a boyfriend right now. Apparently that wasn't entirely true, and she was thinking much more specifically.
Second, the thought that the real reason she may have bailed is because of this new guy.
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