A pox upon New Zealand

Thanks to a recent episode of "Californication," I have become all too aware of a contributing agent to the decline of civilization.

Why have people started "speaking" abbreviations? I've recently come to understand that they are calling this "txt speak," a term that makes me cringe just typing it. "They," of course, are people who claim to have the intellectual authority to label such idiocy. Honestly, I think just about anything that has its origins in this fetid waste pit we call the internet must be viewed with extreme skepticism when it comes to its cultural value. I am conveniently ignoring the fact that I rant about this in my "blog."

This phenomenon is particularly baffling, and anyone who practices it should be struck with a heavy rock upside the head. I will concede that internet shorthand is great for active conversations through text messaging on cell phones, and here on the internet, at least in chat rooms or other rapid fire text-based conversations. It has no place in anything resembling a formal or official writing. I'm looking disapprovingly at you, New Zealand. Continuing, this practice has absolutely no place in verbal communication. None.

Who would possibly think it's preferable to say "L-O-L" rather than just laugh out loud? What's next? Will they say "Colon, closed parentheses" instead of actually smiling? It is especially jarring to actually hear this mental sewage come from the mouth of someone who should know better. What the hell is a 45-year old woman doing saying things like "OMG" and "BRB?" Are actual coherent thoughts so damnably difficult to verbally express in an intelligent manner?