"You keep using that word..."

"... I do not think it means what you think it means."

That line, from The Princess Bride, pops into my head far more often than I would like. I frequently hear people misuse words with such conviction and certainty, it almost seems a shame to have to correct them.

Friday I was studying in an otherwise empty classroom while I waited for one of my math classes to start. I heard someone out in the hallway complaining about the selection of snacks available in the nearby vending machine.

"Can you believe the audacity," I hear her begin. "Why would they put the trail mix behind the M&M's? We have to get through the sugary crap before we get to the good stuff."

Let us disregard, for the moment, that the good stuff in question is about as close to nutritionally empty as the sugary crap. Instead, let us focus on the use of the word audacity. As I understand it, audacity has a malicious, deliberate connotation to it. Dictionary.com seems to support me on this. What this gal was so worked up over could be described as a general disregard, or even carelessness. The idea that the snack-guy was audacious in his actions is just plain wrong.

I will readily admit to having misused words, myself. Often, this is due to having never understood the true meaning of the words. If I am uncertain of the proper usage of a word, I will either not use it, or ask for clarification.

There are a number of specific misuses that irk me:

- The singular form of "matrices" is "matrix." "Matrice" is not a word. as a math major, this makes me cringe.

- No matter how much you want it to be, "irregardless" is not an actual word. The fact that word processors do not catch it just means the programmers have given up trying to correct you.

- Just because a game has a multiplayer component does not make it an MMO. The key component here is the first M, for "massively." You and three friends do not qualify as massive, even if I am one of those friends. Halo, Diablo, Starcraft, and Team Fortress are not MMO's

There's more out there, but I must join my nephew in a spirited game of cow-throwing.

[ongoing edit: if I am going to bitch about language and grammar, I should double-check my own language and grammar in posting.]