Better to Be Lucky than Good?

I will not pretend to understand it.

I have had incredible difficulty with chemistry this winter. Seems the more I thought I understood, the worse I performed on tests and assignments. Going into the final, I was struggling to maintain a 3.0. I needed to knock the final out of the park to be comfortable with my grade.

The final test was split into two parts. I was confident in my completion of the take-home part. I worked with four other students on it, and got some much-needed help from the director of the chemistry lab. As I took to the online portion in the computer lab, I felt sure about my answers and understanding. There were only two multiple-choice questions I felt I needed to guess on, and those had been reduced to a 50-50 shot. When I clicked on the "submit" button, I felt my score would likely be in the neighborhood of 90%. I would be OK with my quarter grade. Curious, I clicked on the "show score" button, and my heart sank.

"Score: 50/100."

Ouch. I do not remember the last time I outright failed a test. I've gotten some poor, barely passing scores on material I had not covered adequately, but seldom drop below 80%. And I do not think I have ever failed a class. I have had to drop a couple of classes for various reasons, but my grades were always passing. Usually with very high marks.

I was certain that I was going to have to change my major. One is unlikely to be accepted into a forensic chemistry program when one has not passed chemistry.

Last night, I checked my grades to see how bad the damage was.

Japanese: 3.6 -- Not bad. About what I expected.
Calculus: 4.0 -- I knew that going in. All I had to do was get a passing score on the final to secure that 4.0.
Chemistry: 3.4 -- Beg pardon? I was expecting a grade point of about half that.

I have no idea what happened. Nor am I going to question it too deeply. Perhaps there was an incredible curve, or she gave me someone else's score. I don't know. Nor do I care.

I passed, and do not yet have to reevaluate my academic plans.

Time Off for Good Behavior

Finally, after three months of continually busting my ass in school, coming up with tiny nuggets of time to put in appearances at family functions, and trying to keep my sanity, I have a break. The college calls it spring break, but the weather disagrees.

I just got back from a weekend in Seattle visiting my brother and his newborn son. My brother and I do not often get along, but this weekend seemed to work out.

Tuesday I get to go to Post Falls and make retail store fixtures explode under somewhat controlled conditions.

There may be blood.

Likely mine.

Four Down, Eight to Go

Holy fuck. This is too much.

Today I turned in four parts of various final projects. Friday I have three more due. Friday is supposed to be Dead Day. No class activity is supposed to be scheduled. Monday is the first official day of finals week, and I have three more projects to turn in. Another two are due any time before noon on Wednesday.

For those who haven't bothered to keep the count, that's twelve projects due in the span of six days.

Keep in mind that I only have three classes this quarter. Of the twelve projects, seven are for chemistry.

What the hell?

Depression-Era Job Security Tip

Murder Overachievers.


Careful, Boom. This may include schoolboys.

Economic Recovery

Allow me to set the stage.

It's late at night. You've got a bit of insomnia, and find yourself in front of the television, stubbornly searching for something to occupy your mind. Frustrated, you abandon your search. Every channel seems to be playing infomercials for the latest, greatest food dehydrator, or the newest video, Girls Gone Wild in Salt Lake City. After a moment, you hear the shouting of this man:

"Hi. Billy Mays here for Zombie Boomstick, the walking, talking, economic recovery package.

Have you come upon tough times financially? Get to know Zombie Boomstick. Simply making plans with Boom will turn your world around. Need cash? Making plans with Boom is almost as easy as printing money. For all you freelance workers out there, schedule some time with Boom, and your phone will start ringing off the hook. New clients. Old clients. Everyone will be calling you when you're expecting Zombie Boomstick.

Perfect for around the house, at picnics, in restaurants, any place you need some cash in your pocket. Simply call up Zombie Boomstick, and before you know it, money will practically be falling out of your pockets.

Business owners, ask for our corporate package. We'll arrange to have Zombie Boomstick sent to your headquarters. Once shipping details have been finalized, you'll see business pick up like you wouldn't believe.

Ladies, looking to land that special guy? Make a date with Zombie Boomstick, and you're almost guaranteed to meet someone else, right away.

For all your life-improving needs, ask for Zombie Boomstick. Boom can be yours for only 3 easy payments of "$whatever-you-think-is-fair.99 plus shipping and handling."

But wait, there's more. Call today, and we'll upgrade you to our deluxe package at no extra charge. With the deluxe package, if your short-term circumstances don't turn around dramatically, Boom will stick around for a while and be a generally pleasant person to know. He'll help you out with household chores, walk the dog, cook dinner, play with the kids. Anything you need."

Then that quick-talking disclaimer guy comes on and says, "Zombie Boomstick does not have much cash of his own, and will not print money. Money gained from exposure to Zombie Boomstick is believed to manifest spontaneously and magically from the land of sugarplum fairies."

Then the pitchman comes back on and implores you, "just look at these testimonials from satisfied customers left in the comments section of this blog:"

That's your cue to provide horribly unconvincing endorsements.

News Flash:

Boom is a sarcastic, misanthropic bastard. He has no paitience for idiots.

I know, this is earth-shattering information.

Those who know me well are likely saying to themselves "Boom, you quick-witted bastard, what has caused this sudden, unforeseen shift if your perception of the human condition? Your friends have always known you as a patient, altruistic person with nothing but love for the rest of the world. Your posting history has shown nothing but virtue and compassion."

Friday morning, I realized how much I truly enjoy almost getting into fights.

Usually I manage to talk my way into conflicts that could end up very damaging to my physical well-being. Fortunately, I have managed to diffuse the situation every time. Usually by confusing people to the point that I can walk away unnoticed. A man who resembles a cranky grizzly bear moving unnoticed is quite a feat, but somehow I manage. Frequently.

A large plus in my favor is my size and appearance. The comparison to a grizzly bear might be a bit of hyperbole, but not much. If people have a chance to realize that they are trying to stare down a person roughly the size of the Colossus of Rhodes, they tend to back down in short order.

My luck will change one day. When that happens, the end result will be something to behold.