Suggestion Box

I wish I could say that Weevil designating me as his "complaint department" was the exception to the rule. It is not. Seems most everyone I know, and many people I don't use me as a sounding board for their problems.

I certainly do not mind when friends and family come to me for advice, or just a friendly ear. That's what friends are for. And they understand that if I am unfamiliar with the situation, any advice I could give would be of the generic variety that only serves to reinforce decisions they have already made.

When strangers ask me for information on how to run their lives or fix their problems, they never seem to notice the mockery I heap upon them until it is too late. Today, a guy sitting next to me in the computer lab asks me why his computer is not behaving the way he expects. Without even looking up, I ask if he tried shaking it real hard. I explained that such actions usually work for me when dealing with animals and small children, so it would only stand to reason that it would carry over to complex electronic devices as well.

So, to Weevil's complainants (holy shit, that's a real word? I thought I made it up just now.) Feel free to complain vociferously in my general direction. I seem to be running out of things to rip apart here. I have an abundance of vitriol and no place to direct it. I have a seething surplus of scorn, and an apparent affinity for alliteration.

Sometimes I wonder if people understand my humor at all.