Just to Irritate Sky

How you doin?

Something in the Water?

I don't understand. Perhaps I'm just not wired the same as most guys. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been in situations that, possibly, could have been parlayed into some sort of sexual action. Each time, at least when I was aware of the circumstance, I elected not to pursue that course of action. Each time, the epic dry spell was made to continue. Each time, I would do the same thing over again.

I mentioned this to Weevil. I suggested that a smoother man may have been able to take advantage. Weevil suggested that it may indeed be true, but that level of smoothness includes a level of assholishness and disregard that I do not possess. Nor does he believe I will ever be able to attain the appropriate level of genuine bastard.

It is heartening to know that the person whose opinion I value most has such high esteem for my character. I make good friends.

Stop Me, Before I Post Again

Three posts within about 12 hours. If I'm not careful, this may be habit-forming.

Anyhow...

I came to the realization today that I am not an effective telephone conversationalist, at least when it come to casual chatting. The first minute or so are usually adequate. The expected platitudes are exchanged, minds are illuminated, and there is an effective interchange of ideas and information. It would seem that after approximately 90 seconds, I feel the increasing need to be entertaining. This generally leads to awkwardness and poorly thought out jokes. Similar situations arise in personal conversation, as well. The time frame is drawn out a bit, because I can be easily distracted by shiny objects to artificially prolong a conversation.

The only exceptions to this trend seem to be Pedro and Weevil. Then again, they seem to be the exceptions to most rules, norms, and trends. My phone conversations with Weevil tend to be stream-of-consciousness conversations. One topic does not often flow easily into the next, nor from the previous. We seem to be able to follow each other's thought processes and are able to bounce back to a previous topic as necessary. I'm not sure how that developed, but we've had twenty years of practice to work on it.

So, Sky, Thumper, E, Buckaroo, and everyone else must endure my telephone awkwardness until I'm... 50? Oh dear god, I'm old.

Warning: Adult Content

This is, quite possibly, the single best idea for a holiday. Ever.

When the Unconscious Mind Runs Wild

For some reason, a disproportionate (evidently "disproportional" would have worked here, too.) number of things has my thinking skewing particularly libidinous. Weevil once told me that the average man thinks about sex once every seven seconds. That time frame seemed ridiculously brief to me. Seven seconds for Weevil, sure. I used to believe that thinking about sex once or twice an hour was a bit high. Today, I'm probably making up lost ground. There is no frustration involved, either. I actually find myself in a very good mood.

My music choices are only contributing to this. Aerosmith, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Doors are seldom counted among pure and chaste bands.

I had to retype that first paragraph a surprising number of times to remove any accidental innuendo.

I can't think of a witty way to end this. I think all my creativity has been spent on the run up to finals. With that in mind, I will just say good night.

Sick Day: Addendum

It occurs to me that Sky and Thumper having an army of contagious children could have some truly nefarious potential. Imagine the devastation that could be wrought with a relentless surge of sniffling children. They are walking germ factories. Walking WMD's, they are.

I could rule the world! But what would I do with the world once I had it? I have nowhere to put the damn thing.

This Looks Like a Sick Day

I really hate being sick. Now, I'll take a bad cough that keeps me awake at night over anything that sends me to the hospital. Still, it's almost 3 in the morning, and I'm in front of my computer. Normally I would have been asleep at three or four hours by now. Not tonight. Tonight I have a lovely hacking cough that gets worse if I lay down. I've been coughing so much, my back hurts. I have therefore decided that I will take a sick day today, and catch up on sleep in tiny 3-4 minute increments while sitting on an uncomfortable sofa.

I feel bad for Sky, Thumper, and Weevil. This bug is going around, and there's about five thousand children running around that house. Being sick by yourself if bad enough. Having a small army of children being sick right along with you cannot be fun no matter how you look at it.